Hitting Rock Bottom
Before I can describe to you how my life is now, I need to give you an insight into my life. I need you to know how oblivious I had become to the world around me. I was desensitised to the crime, drugs and addiction that controlled my life and ultimately led me back to the same place I always ended up. Prison…
Let me take you back to the night before I got remanded. I had been arguing and fighting with my partner for weeks. My drug use and reckless behaviour had ramped up tenfold to escape the reality of my relationship and responsibility as a partner and father. I hadn't slept in a couple of nights. I was taking a cocktail of drugs and was spending all my time hanging out in crack dens under the illusion that all my problems had gone away. I even thought I was having fun. I was ignoring that I was using one drug to reduce the anxiety from the previous drug and another drug to give me a false sense of personality. Quite simply, it had become a shit show. I had left my son at my mother's place while all this was taking part, but that's not the worst. This was all taking place the night before Father's day. I had repeatedly promised him that I would be there to pick him up on Father's Day. That never happened. I never made it there to get the card that he had put so much time and effort into making for me. I never made it there to unwrap the present that he had gone through so much thought to pick out for me, and most of all, I never made it there to spend the time that a son wants to spend with their Dad. I'll tell you where I was, I was lying in a hospital bed under a police guard after falling asleep at the wheel and crashing my car. Not only that, but I had a sum of money and drugs in the car, and I knew I wasn't going home. The raw emotion of shame, guilt and regret that filled me was the only emotion I had felt in months, if not years, and that is when I knew I was at my rock bottom.
That unbearable guilt of letting my son down again weighed down on me. For the first time in a long time, I felt myself experiencing something foreign. My eyes were filling up with tears, and before I could fight them back and suppress these emotions, I had tears running down my face. There I was, sitting in my cell. There was no more tough guy there; there was a man that wanted a different life, a better life, a chance to be a good father and a loving partner. I didn't realise it in my addiction, and I don't think I ever would have if I hadn't hit rock bottom, but I was exhausted with the life I was living. I was so unhappy and felt like I had wasted so many years of my life. This was the first time I had ever considered that this life I was living wasn't the life I wanted for myself and my family and that there must be a better way.
Call ASV for a free phone consultation
or for more information email
jason@addictionsolutionsvictoria.org.au
addictionsolutionsvictoria.org.au
addictionsolutionsgeelong.org.au
1227-1229 Malvern Road
Malvern, VIC 3144
ASV staff provide programs that are delivered by experienced, qualified industry professionals.
For more information, call Jason on 03 8374 7648
Email jason@addictionsolutionsvictoria.org.au
addictionsolutionsvictoria.org.au - addictionsolutionsgeelong.org.au
To access additional information and support, visit the Collective Recovery Support Network.
"The ASV Rehab at Home program provides evidence-based drug treatment and alcohol rehab options across Melbourne, Victoria. Developed to meet an identified need within the Victorian community, our support programs provide any person, including the families of addicts, with genuine opportunities at positive change (recovery)." - Jase Bowman - ASV Manager - Rehab Centres Melbourne - Melbourne.
ASV staff provide programs that are delivered by experienced, qualified industry professionals.
For more information, call Jason on 03 8374 7648
Email jason@addictionsolutionsvictoria.org.au
addictionsolutionsvictoria.org.au - addictionsolutionsgeelong.org.au