Time for Change
I was 37 when I started to spiral out of control. I think it started when I had my last child, post-natal depression; I put it down to this being my 4th baby, and I don't know why it all went so wrong, but it started with gambling. I went to the pokies every day and went through our savings quickly. The day my husband said he was going to the bank to sort out some money was when my living and sneaking around all came to the surface; you see, I was the one who had control of the finances as I was the one who managed the money well. Anyway, by this stage, I had spent $30,000 of our savings and reloaned money against the home loan; this was also the day my marriage fell apart. The shame, loneliness, sadness, and regret were overwhelming.
I used to use speed in my 20s as a social thing at first, but then it was a daily habit that I overcame. I had been clean for 15 years and not once had I thought about using in all that time until that day. So I got hold of an old friend and asked them to score for me; I guess I just wanted the down feeling to end, so they helped me and turned up at my house. The moment the drug was in my system, I felt good, so every day, I was chasing that good feeling. I didn't know about ice at that stage and thought it was just like speed and I could stop at any time. Wow, was I wrong? If I thought my life was terrible from the gambling, it was 100 times worse from the ice. My husband found out about the drugs, and the next thing I knew, I was living in my car with an ice addiction and trying to fight for my daughter in court, which with a habit like this, of course, I failed miserably. This worsened my obsession as I felt even more sorry for myself. At this stage, I didn't even think about getting help. Addiction ruled my life. All I was thinking about was getting high, and this took me to some dark, scary and dangerous places. I have been to jail five times and had some very nasty partners in that time, also. My children wouldn't speak to me, my 2nd child won't see me, and I haven't held him in my arms for ten years now. Addiction took my life off me and gave me nothing in return until I decided to get control back, meet Jason, and do a rehab at-home program with him.
Jason has helped me see that it is possible to have an excellent positive life after addiction. He has helped me learn my triggers and how to avoid them, deal with my emotions, work through them, and deal with the guilt all addicts have inside. I have also learned to live for the moment, not in the past or worry about the future. It has been hard some days. I believe life throws you curve balls to test you but staying strong and not giving in to temptation, and getting through those tests makes you stronger. I know; thanks to Jason's program, I now have 3 of my children back in my life. My sister and ex-husband are significant supports now. I still haven't spoken to my 2nd child, but I know that will come in time. It's something I strive for and will be another reward in time. I am about to get my licence back, which I lost through drug driving. I am starting to study in 3 weeks and looking for a place live. Some days are challenging, but my worst day in recovery is much better than my best day in addiction. I am back in the light of life, and I owe it all to the day I decided the ASV program was what I needed. I love life again, and I'm starting to love myself again.
Thank you, Jason.
"Established in 2015, ASV programs have supported many toward sustainable positive change and relief from addiction. Our customised outreach rehabilitation services, developed by Danya International (Hazelden Betty Ford Clinic) based on sound evidence-backed practices for maximum positive impact. Don't wait: initiate your path of recovery now with our free phone assessment!" -Jason Bowman - ASV Melbourne & Geelong.